“Every truly great accomplishment is at first impossible“~ my fortune cookie today.

This celebrates my 100th journal entry. The remarkable thing about life’s journey is the amazing side trips that we make. Putting my thoughts down into text, sharing them with others, has helped me to evaluate things differently than I used to. It has given me a deeper understanding and given me so much to think about. (Not that I ever had problems coming up with things to think about before.)

At the time I started my blog I was coming out of an extremely unpleasant episode in my life. My family and friends have helped me work through all that. I went through and re-read my earliest posts. I hadn’t done that in several months. It’s amazing what a few months can do for you. No matter how bad things get, there is always the Great Physician, Time.

I still don’t understand why many of the things that happened took place. I never will. It seems there are people in this world that are out to hurt us, play us, ect. But there are also wonderful people out there to pull us back up, set us back on our feet, dry our tears. If it wasn’t for the Hounds, that callously wound us, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate those that comfort and love us. It’s the cowards that make us appreciate courage. The liars that make us appreciate the truth. Those without honor that make us appreciate integrity.

The knee jerk reaction for betrayals, treacheries, slanders, wounds, is to close up, go into hiding, retreat into the den. Isolating oneself to avoid being hurt again. When you do that, those that wish you harm, win. Heaven knows I’m too competitive to just roll over and let anyone win. No doubt about it, giving with an open, generous heart places you at risk.

I have had conversations about donating to charities for years. Some people won’t give to things because they are worried they are a scam, things will be misappropriated, ect. That’s always a risk. My view of it is this; when one gives with an open heart, they have done their duty. If the person receiving is receiving in good faith, then you have done a miraculous thing. You have alleviated someone else’s need. If they are scamming you, then God, karma, the Powers-That-Be will deal with them more effectively than you ever could.

Why deny the world your beautiful specialness because of some Hound? Just because He’s content with hamburger helper doesn’t mean there isn’t a filet minion connoisseur just waiting to discover you.

Caits showed me something just last night, that my precious Auntie Eva gave her. It was a hand mirror. She told her that she didn’t think that Cait could see the beautiful, amazing girl that everyone did, and she wanted her to practice, looking into the mirror. I hope Caits holds onto that for the rest of her life, and practices seeing what the rest of us do, until she no longer needs it. When she no longer needs it, it will be a reminder to her, that we don’t always see ourselves as others do. Who knows, maybe some day in her future, is someone that will need the magic of the mirror, and she can pass it’s secrets on to them.

During these months, my “family of the heart” has grown considerably. I have made friends on both sides of the windows. I have had the privilege of meeting several. My relationships with my pups have grown leaps and bounds. Some of the conversations we have are unsettling to say the least. But they are open and honest. The confessions come freely, and with each one, a new barrier has been broken. They know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that no matter what, I still love them, I’m still here for them. That trust has not been broken.

I know now what growing old gracefully is all about. It doesn’t have anything to do with giving any thing up. I will always have my adventures, I will always push the edge of the envelope, I will keep living and experiencing new things, as often as I can.

It has more to do, with opening your heart and taking as many people with you on your adventures as you can. It’s about being Your own Hero. Once You can do that, You can Champion others. I have become the Momma Vixen to many. It is a role I relish. It is fulfilling. Whether in person, online, on the phone, by what ever means, people reach out to me, and they become part of me.

All my little vixenettes are very precious to me. So many wonderful, beautiful women, with so much to offer in this big, bright, glorious world. I have found rivers of strength that I never knew existed. Enough to share in abundance. Some people find it intimidating. Some find it comforting. Some find it inspirational. It’s strange how I can be so many different things to so many different people. Everything from Cruella De Vil to Mother Theresa and everything in between.

All the “would have been’s” and “could have been’s” are ancient history. Life goes on. It is my sincere hearts wish for those whose wounds go so deeply that they mentally, emotionally and/or physically harm others because of their pain, find comfort, peace, hope, love. Maybe if they ever find the things that they are seeking, they will no longer have that need to share that pain. If they ever truly allow themselves to be loved, to find a safe place, they can return that love in equal measure.

To quote one of my very best gal pals, Lotta Vixen: With help from friends....Anything is possible

Til next time...Love, sassy v   [yinyang]

©  sassy vixen1  2005